Well it was bound to happen. I think for the first time ever, I have officially taken too many pain pills at once. No seriously. I'm pretty sure I'm tweekin'. This is a horrible feeling. I just keep staring off into nothing, my balance is off, my brain is all over the place, and I can't keep my eyes open. What I wouldn't give for a fucking nap right now. So my stomach pains yesterday were over-fucking-whelming so when I got home, I took a vicodin around 5 and it worked great, I felt better than I had the whole damn day. I laid on my couch watched TV and didn't want to die. I actually even fell asleep at a normal hour.

Then it all went to shit. I woke up at 1:30 with excruciating joint pain. I'm not sure why this happens to me, but it did the last time after I got out of the hospital. Its like my knees and ankles just throb and I can't move them or stand on them or do anything without them just killing me. Its awful. Its so bad that it brings me to tears and for some reason only happens at night and when it wakes me up there is no going back to sleep. So in order to save my sanity, I took another vicodin. In the past they haven't really worked for this pain but I was desperate, and it had been about 6 hours which I'm pretty sure is when its ok to take another.  So I sit on the couch in awful pain just waiting it out because I know that I can't even attempt to sleep. Around 3:30 it starts to finally go away. I can sleep again. Here is where I fucked up. I woke up again at around 4:30. The pain...it was back in full force. And my dumbass doesn't think, just grabs another pill. Which maybe I'm overreacting and this isn't that bad, but for me, clearly this is too much because I can barely function right now. I dont  understand why people choose to feel this way. I dont get why people would purposely abuse prescription drugs to feel like this. So I fell asleep just fine, but woke up 2 hours later for work totally fucked up. Dizzy, stumbling, feeling like I want to throw up.

Its been about 2 hours since I woke up and this hasn't gotten any better. I asked a friend who is a nurse if there was anything I could do to help move this along and he said not really. I am not hungry at all, so the thought of food just makes me want to puke even more. So I've just been drinking water, dreaming of naps. Heres the real shitty part....my stomach hurts again. With all these pain meds in me, it still hurts. At least I'm lucid enough to know not to take another pill. I will not be making this mistake again.

You might be sitting there reading this going...you idiot. No shit you feel this way, what moron takes that many pills that fast. I dont really sleep anymore. I'm on a shit ton of drugs. I am not making great decisions, and in the heat of the pain I just wanted it to go away. I suppose there is also a possibility that maybe the vicodin is mixing with the 6-MP? Who knows. All I know is that I suck at being a drug addict and I'm ready for it to be done now. Learn from me people...dont take 3 vicodins too fast. That was dumb.

Thinking about perhaps using fentanyl patches to control the pain during the day instead of the pills...dunno yet but this was clearly not a good idea.

Also was thinking about what I'm going to eat for lunch and how I dont want to pay for a lunch but I didn't have any food at home. Last night I ordered a pizza...I never do this because I live alone. I did it for the sole purpose of having lunch today. Which in the midst of vicodin giggles, I forgot about. Don't do drugs people, it will make you forget your pizza.