So today was my first follow up neurologist appointment since starting Avonex. I went in with a few questions written down, since I seem to space out immediately upon entering the office. It seems like everyone is zombied out, from the lady at the front desk, to the nurse, the other patients waiting in akward silence. I half read some stuff on stem cell therapy in Neurology Now, but couldn't really focus much. I just brought my copy home.
Anyhow there was the typical exam with pins and pokes and walking and the like. My doc seems to think that I'm doing well, and I'm pretty sure I am too. I asked about the fact that there hasn't been a day since November that I haven't had any sort of symptom, be it buzzing or numbness or what have you. I asked if this was normal, as in is this what "remission" is like for me. It's different for everyone, and I know this. I am just wondering if remission for me, or for anyone, means feeling absolutely NO symptoms whatsoever for any length of time. He couldn't really answer that, and I suppose this is okay. I also asked when I would have my next MRI, and he said either if I have a worsening of symptoms, maybe in a year, or perhaps if the specialist wants one sooner.
Even though I knew going into the next question what the answer would be, I sort of wanted to know what his take would be. So, I asked if when they looked at the results of the next MRI, if they would be able to tell me if the Avonex was really making any sort of a difference. At first he said it depends on what week you ask him that question, since opinions are always changing. He then went into the schpeel about how short a time the drugs have been on the market, how we really don't know if they're helping this generation of MS patients, but there is a chance that perhaps less will be disabled, as in wheelchair bound and the like. It was the answer I expected, and I appreciated it. I know it isn't his job to feed me a line of crap, and he didn't. I was pleased.
Another one of my questions was in regards to the cognitive issues I have been dealing with. His response to this was to ask me if I was depressed, which I do understand. I realize that depression can play a huge factor in cognitive issues, but I don't necessarily think this is my issue. Understandably so, I'm not the happiest I've ever been in my life, but I'm certainly nowhere near the saddest I've ever been. I feel pretty even keel right now, especially considering the circumstances. He suggested I sit on the issue until the next appointment, and then possibly think about starting anti-depressants. While I appreciate the thought, anti-depressants are not on my list of to-do's. I have had pretty negative experiences with them in the past. I'm not writing anything off completely, but it would take a heck of a lot of depression to put me back on medication. I think the cognitive issues will be something that will probably be better addressed with the specialist, which is a-ok with me.
I didn't really come away from the appointment with anything I didn't know before, and this is just as well, and what I expected. I understand that we can't expect doctors to have all of the answers, especially when it comes to a disease like MS. In a sick and twisted way, I sort of enjoy being somewhat on par with my regular neurologist in terms of knowing what's going on with my disease. On another note, I was hoping he would redeem himself today, after my unimpressive prior visits. I am happy to say that he was the least zombie like out of everyone in the office today. I have found that just being more assertive and demanding with him seems to work a little better. I also think he appreciates the fact that I'm doing my research, and not simply relying on him for all my information.
