Spiritual Healing Homework 10/08/2009
 If you recall, Dr. Bill gave me some homework after my healing session with him. He told me to take some time for myself, create space, and think about the conflicts in my life. So last night I did just that. And I'm really conflicted over how it went. I've had these furniture pieces that I've been wanting to paint/refinish for a while and I really enjoy "crafting" if you will, so I decided to cancel dinner with a friend last night, sit in my garage and work on my projects. Do something that makes me happy. Dr. Bill had told me to disconnect and turn off my phone but shockingly enough I'm not all that popular so I decided to leave it on, besides people FLIP when you turn your phone off. I also usually work with the radio on and I decided this time to sit alone with my thoughts in the silence. Within the first 15 minutes I received 3 text messages from people who never text me and a phone call.... So I decided to turn the phone off. A small wave of ...I don't know, panic..flushed over me. WHAT IF SOMEONE CALLS AND ITS IMPORTANT? Clearly, I have a problem disconnecting. A problem creating space. So I left it off while I was outside and I painted and I sanded and I thought about stuff. And I don't really feel like I sorted anything out, which is totally fine. But I did leave my garage mad. I was pissed off. Sure, I thought about some stuff that upsets me, but for the most part I wasn't dwelling on bad things, but I was in a foul mood. WTF? This is supposed to be a calming exercise. It was supposed to help me sort shit out and I ended up...mad? How does one screw this up?! Spiritual Healers. A long entry. 10/06/2009
 I have talked previously about spiritual healing and how I have gone to see a Shaman and have them "heal" me. The woman that I went to see was a total nut job and I spent about and hour and like $60 trying not to laugh. I didn't go back. Well, the guy who referred me to her is now an official Shaman. I'd like to think I'm a pretty rational, logical human being, so naturally believing in spiritual healing is a little tough for me. But this person who does the healing is a family friend, and a totally normal, rational guy. Someone who functions in life like a real person, owns a business, is an ophthalmologist and a general cool person to be around. And he believes in this stuff. Hes been to Peru countless times to train with traditional Shamans and whatnot. Its hard to have someone like this in your life who is asking to help you and to keep denying them. Hes approached me countless times to see if I'd like his help/guidance or anything. And at this point...what do I have to lose? I'm on medications that are making me crazy, fat, ugly, and sicker in some senses. How can I say no? |
